Spring Rain! 4-26-2014

I love spring rain. It is rejuvenating and brings healing to my soul and life to my spirit.

Today, I am grateful for the heavy grey clouds, the hidden sun, the pouring rain... because God blessed me with another day to enjoy it. I am still here.

Through the sound of metal on metal, honking horns, flashing lights and screeching breaks, all I could think about was my baby in the back seat. Somehow I had managed to avoid hitting the fresh pile up of cars directly in front of me, swerving and missing the fire hydrant and sign that soon became all I could see in my path. Once my vehicle came to a stop, I immediately turned around and looked in the back seat. I blocked out the sounds of new chaos outside my window and listened only for the sound of my child's cry. Nothing! Sound asleep, oblivious to the fear that filled every part of my being. Oblivious to the pounding in my chest. Oblivious to the chaos that surrounded us just feet away on the other side of thin glass windows and metal doors.  She was perfect.

Tears immediately streamed down my cheeks as I felt overcome with feelings of gratitude and peace in the realization that we had just been held in the hands of a loving Heavenly Father.  I glanced back one more time, then slipped out my door into the spring rain, praying that I would find God's hands had gently held those in the cars in front of me as well.  I closed the metal door, with thin glass windows and left my sweet baby in her innocent, oblivious world. I felt safe knowing that God had a plan for her, for both of us.

Today I am grateful for heavy rain clouds, the hidden sun and the pouring rain..... because.... my sweet baby girl and I are still here to smell it, breath it and feel it.

Feeling blessed.

Juli

Heart Attack 4-16-2014

Basketball Boys - January 6, 2014

I couldn't help but smile as I stood in the kitchen and listened to the laughter down the hall. The last few weeks I have found myself very low on patience, easily annoyed and frustrated and always tired. When mom is off, everyone is off. As a result, laughter is a sound that has not been heard in our home as much as it used to be. I realized tonight, standing in front of the stove, that I miss that sound.

I listened with eagerness and longing.  Parker had taken Canyon into his room at the end of the hallway and I could hear balls being thrown at the basketball hoop in the corner.  Parker would cheer him on and encourage him. Canyon would giggle when the ball would fall on his brother below. My heart was so warmed by what I heard that I stopped what I was doing, grabbed the camera and quietly made my way down the hallway to capture this moment.

As I carefully stuck my head around the corner, my smile returned as I watched this interaction between brothers.  Parker hadn't been asked to entertain his brother. He wanted to be in this moment. He created this moment. Canyon craves this kind of time with his siblings. It melted me standing there watching them create a memory.  I snapped a few pictures and returned to the kitchen.

I continued on with the task of getting dinner ready for family, but something was different. My whole being felt lighter. I felt joy.  I realized that I need to allow more of these moments to distract me. I need to not only provide my children with opportunities to laugh and create memories, but I need to be humble enough, patient enough, loving enough to recognize these moments when they come.  They will grow so quickly and then I will find myself standing in the kitchen with empty hallways and empty rooms. All that I will have then, is the sound of memories captured in my mind and heart.

I want to capture every moment. I am grateful for Parker. Tonight, he reminded me that sometimes you just need to let things go in order to make room for joy and laughter. I am grateful for Canyon and the innocence and sweet spirit that he brings into our home.

Tonight,  I am grateful for the lingering sound of laughter, echoing down my halls.

Love, Juli

Watching my parents leave- January 6, 2014

January 6th, 2014

Today, standing at the airport watching my parents walk away, I had a funny feeling.  A feeling I didn't really become familiar with until I became a parent myself. 

My parents arrived home from Canada a short month ago to spend the holidays with us. It has been wonderful having them here but hard as well. They both have been sick, making it hard for them to enjoy their time. Many of the last few days have been spent laying on my couch, or taking naps instead of laughing and running around with grandchildren. As I have tended to their needs, made them chicken noodle soup, forced them to take medication and use essential oils hoping they would improve before leaving, I began to worry, like a mother does, about sending them out of the country on a cruise ship for almost a month. 

Today, standing at the airport watching them walk away, I had a funny feeling. That feeling that comes when you send your child out to do hard things. That feeling you get when you watch your child perform at a piano or dance recital, holding your breath hoping that they would do okay and know that there best was good enough. It was the feeling of leaving your children with the care of a babysitter for the first time, or the anxiousness you get when you wait in a doctors office to find out what is ailing your sick child.  Its a feeling of worry, of anticipation, of concern, of longing, of excitement all wrapped up in the brief 30 seconds that it took for them to disappear out of sight. 

I am excited for my parents. I know that their journey will be full of adventures.  I am already counting down the days when they return and get to meet their newest grandchild, born while they are somewhere far way walking with penguins. I am grateful for the gift of feeling. The gift of emotion.  Today, for but a brief moment, I perhaps experienced what our Heavenly parents felt when they sent each of us out into this great big world to experience life.  I anticipate their arrival home, just as our Heavenly Mother and Father anticipate our arrival home, with luggage packed full of life experience, memories and spiritual treasures. 

Love you Mom and Dad!

Juli

January 5th, 2013 - Choosing to find Joy!

I am tired. My legs ache, my belly hurts, morning sickness.... and afternoon sickness... and evening sickness... still haunt me. I can't sleep at night and I am not the nicest person to be around right now. Pregnancy is supposed to be beautiful, priceless, desirable, and, I believe, a spiritual experience.... right?

Over the last few days as I have started counting down until this little spirit enters our family, I have begun to think a little deeper about this special gift that I have been given. The days have not been laced with joy, and happiness.  The growing pains have not been comfortable and the days have been long, hard and emotional...but...that doesn't change the fact that this experience is mine. I was chosen to carry this precious package. I was chosen to bring this baby here to grow, to learn, to progress and work towards eternal perfection.  I was chosen to experience the pain and the sorrow, the exhaustion, the tears and endless worry so that this little spirit can experience life.  That brings me joy. That brings me happiness. That brings me strength to push on, to enjoy the last few precious days that I get to carry her so close to my heart, protected from the world. 

Tonight, as I sit here and run my hands across my swollen belly, feeling her kick, feeling her move within my very being, I am grateful.  I am blessed.  She is mine for but a short time.  I will whisper her name, whisper 'I Love You's',  and sing her soft lullaby's. When the pain tries to take over, I will remind myself that joy is bigger than pain. I will remind myself that I was chosen.... and she is mine. 

Thank you God for the blessing of carrying your beautiful daughter. Thank you for entrusting her into my care until it is time for her to return home to her Heavenly parents. Thank you for sending me a daily reminder that you are aware of me..... I choose to try harder to find joy in every moment that I get with the spirits you have sent to me. Thank you for giving me the best gift one can receive.. ... the gift of motherhood. 

Juli

Riggs Family Christmas Letter - December 2013

'Light A Candle'

This holiday season, I miss our son, Tyler. It has been different around our home with his absence. We love to receive letter from him hearing about his new adventures and challenges serving the people of Wisconsin, and we have felt the guiding hand of our Heavenly Father stronger than ever in our home as we have received blessings in abundance from Tyler's faithful service, but...... I miss him. The kids debated, do we put up his ornaments on the tree this year where daily we are reminded that he isn't here, or do we leave them in the box? Will he have a good Christmas away from home? Will he get our gifts in time? Will a family out there welcome him into their home on Christmas day? Will he know that we are so grateful he is where he is, but that we miss him terribly?

As I have been processing these new feelings and working through the growing pains that come with change, I found myself touched by an article I read in a holiday magazine. It shared the story of the 'Candle in the Window.' I have seen candles lit in windows during the holidays before. I love the glow of the flickering fire, but I never knew the story behind it. I now know, it was sent to me to help ease the longing and worrying of a mother for a child this holiday season.

During ancient winters, you would often find a Candle lit in the window as a reminder that winder would end and spring would soon come. The lit candle was once a symbol of the star of Bethlehem in the Middle ages. but the story of the candle goes beyond that and it even goes beyond the Holidays.  A candle in the window of a home in Ireland signaled to others that this was a home of believers. In Russia, a lit candle means that visitors are always welcome. And for others around the world, it symbolizes loyalty to loved ones who are far away. It serves s a beacon to guide them home. 

When I read this, my heart found peace. I ordered a candle for my window, turned on it's brilliant, yet gentle light and placed it in my window. It's light has come to symbolize so much for me over the last few weeks. Yes, I lit it thinking of my son so many miles away. A reminder that he is safe and will find his way home. But, it has come to symbolize so much more for me. I keep that candle lie as a reminder of the star that led the wise-men to our Savior so many years ago. A single light, a constant light. It reminds me why I get up each day and do what I do before I crawl in bed exhausted at night to get up and go it all over again. It symbolizes love. A love from my Heavenly Father and a reminder that He is a constant in my life.  That not just at Christmas, but all year long, He is with me, guiding me, encouraging me and helping me make choices that will guide me home. He is a light in my life. A candle lit in Heavens window. A single light, a constant light.

This holiday, may you find that same light in your home. Whether it be through a candle in your window, a star atop your Christmas tree, reading the story of the birth of the Christ child, or hearing the laughter of loved ones in your home. Maybe that light will come through memories of a loved one who won't be with your this Holiday season, or through music, dancing and singing. Whatever it may be, my prayer is that you will seen after that light. That you will allow it to fill your heart and bring peace to your soul, for indeed we are a blessed people.  We have been given the light, a beacon, to guide us home. A single light, a constant light. 

May you and your loved ones know of the love that we have for you and your families this holiday season. And may you see the light in our window and know that you are always welcome. 

Merry Christmas with Love and Light,

The Riggs Family

Brannick, Juli, Tyler, Parker, Saskya, Canyon and (soon to arrive) Savannah